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Surpriseingly these are real. Fone Adventures
We stepped out of our High School foyer, and that?s when our lifetime adventure started.
We were walking down main street when we saw a very strange shop. Now we had walked down this street many times but had never noticed this particular shop before. It was run by a very muscular man. He had a sense that made people think "mystical". Although he was not mystical, or so we thought. We decided to explore his store ,it looked normal enough. The store looked like it was made exactly for us. There were keriokee machines and music from "My Girl" to *N Sync's "Bye Bye Bye". We couldn't believe the movie selection. Every movie we've ever seen and loved to a special extent. Everything we veered loved, displayed before us.
"Ryan!" I shouted across the store to my friend. "They have pop tarts... just what we were planning to get for lunch!" Ryan's wheat colored blonde hair trailed behind her as she raced toward me.
"I'd swear that if anything we want is in our minds, it's here." Ryan thought outloud. "I totally believe you." I said with bounce to my blonde hair. "Hey isn't that a Yellow Submarine? I can't ever find it anywhere."
"Hello, ladies." a voice from behind us said. "I see you have your eye on out last time mach...yellow submarine." This voice happened to be the storeowner, his name was Justin, and HE stared our great adventure.
"Yes, it's so small for a submarine, what kind of model is it?" I asked.
"Oh, my dear Abe,"which is my name,"this is not your ordinary 'model'. This 'model' has a certain behavior. It can make your wonders become reality, your wishes become your life, and the past become the present. It can make all your dreams come true." Justin told us.
"Ya,right," Ryan said in a sarcastic voice."And I'm the queen of pop."
"It's nice to see you again Miss Spears." Justin said, as he pured like a cat.
"Oh shut up." Ryan said.
"Oh come on Ryan,"I whispered to her, "don't make him mad, what if what he said is true, what if all our wonders CAN become reality, what if all those things we talked about over he phone can come true? We've already had a glimpse, the submarine, you know we've been looking for something like that. Lets just see what he has to say. Come on, what do we have to lose?"
"Um... let me see, our sanity, our dignity?"she said to me.
"Come on Ryan, you know you lost your dignity when you ran naked through the halls waving your arms in the air and screaming 'The British are coming, the British are coming."
"Well, ladies, have you decide weather or not your going to evoke yourselves in an adventure you'll never forget?"
"Wait a minute bucko," I said, "how do we know your not some freaky frat pledge or an EBLS guy?"
"Ya." Ryan said, agreeing with me.
"Ok, I will prove that I'm a genuine fella, pledge does not start until fall,"
"Ok so you got that one."I said.
"And second, I haven't the slightest idea what an EBLS guy is."
"Well, I guess you got us there." Ryan said. " So what about this 'adventure'"?
"Its a adventure that?s you'll never forget. You'll go through tests and stages..."Justin started to say.
"Now, wait, wait, wait..."I interrupted. " We have to go through something that involves us leaving the couch, I don't think so."
"Ok then, well forget the tests, just please step into the telephone booth."
"Where did the telephone booth come from? I thought it was a submarine." I said.
" Oh ya, sorry, wrong teenagers." Justin said. He started to whisper to himself and smack himself upside the head," remember, girls-submarine, cure boredom, boys-telephone booth, history project. Hmm, Hmm." then he started to speak to us once more," Step into the telep...submarine."
"Ok, ok, I get this 'adventure' thing, but how can we be sure we can trust you to take us on something that wont put us to sleep?" Ryan asked. Justin put out his arms suggesting us to look around, "Oh, ok." She replied to the motion.
"So please, wont you step into the structure," He asked, " and prepare yourself."
The inside of this structure was magical, it was shinny, and us being blondes we were very amused by that. It was kind of like an elevator, but with better music. Pop and some country. The "trip" didn't take long, not more then 5 minutes, but it had seemed like an hour because of all the songs we had listened to.
"Are you enjoying the ride so far?" Justin asked us.
We looked at each other," Totally dude!" we said together.
"Well, you two are certinetly n sync." Justin said to us.
When the "ride" stopped we stepped out of the structure and were exposed to a beautiful place. There was water everywhere. We could have sworn it was like a page right out of Fantasia. The Ivory tower and everything.
"This place is tight." I whispered to Ryan.
"Dude, it's rocken." She said back to me.
Dude, it's rocken." She said back to me."Dude, that guy in the third Never Ending Story movie was hot."
"Why thank you." An another voice came behind us.
"OH MY GOODNESS IT'S JASON JAMES RICHTER!" we said in a stern loud voice. Ryan added, "how you doin?.
"Forget how he's doin-- how'd you get here?" I asked.
Instead of answering, he just literally froze. Infact time seemed to stop all around Ryan, Justin, and me. "Don't you get it? He's here because I can tell what you've always thought about." Justin said to us.
"Wait a minute... first of all, can you tell what we're thinking of right now?" Ryan asked.
"Yes, as a matter of fact Abe and you are thinking the same thing... that I look tight in a wet T-shirt." Justin answered Ryan.
"Hey! Private thought there!" I said very unamused. "Next time you do that I'm gonna think of you with no clothes. Then who will be one up around here?" I said. All of a sudden, Jason James Richter, and Justin were naked.
"Thanks for the idea, Abe." Ryan smugly said.
"Ryan!" I yelled incredibly surprized."What do you think you're doing?"
"Uh, if you wouldn't mind--would let us have our clothes back?" Justin interupted.
"No, why would I wanna do something stupid like that?"Ryan said.
"Oh come on...PLEASE!!!" Justin begged as Jason just stood there. "Ok, fine." I started to think of them un-naked, but it wasn't working.
"Ryan, you thought it." Justin said, "So undo it."
"But I don't wanna." She whined.
"Ryan, do it." I ordered.
"Fine." Ryan said with a grudge. Then proceded to unthink it. It must have really killed her, because Jason and Justin were both wearing clothes in a few minutes.
"Sorry to break it to you.. But, we can't hold time for too long or we could get stuck." Justin informed us.
"Then 'beam me up Scotty',? Ryan and I said together.
"Okay, now that we have this all straitened out, I have to tell you it is time for me to pass you on to my friends Jason here."Justin told us.
"Yes, and I have plenty of information that I have to give to you. Information you'll love me for." Jason said.
"So if Jason is ready to take you, I'll be on my way." Justin said.
Jason nodded and Justin stepped back. Putting his arms out in the full veiw of the Ivory tower. And in a puff of glitter, smoke, and light Justin was gone. We figured we would never see him again.
"So whats this information we're gonna love you for?" I asked.
"First off, don't get to attached to those clothes your wearing..." Jason began to say when I interrupted.
"Wait, this better not be some sort of payback..." I said.
"Oh, no, that?s not what I meant, I meant that we have got outfits to fit your adventure ready for you." He said.
"W.we?" I asked.
"Yes, we,"he said,"There will be more people then just Justin and I who will help you travel through your adventure. These people are very close to yor heart. People you trust. But there are people that you can not trust, you will be worned when these people are around you."
"How?" we asked.
"Well," he began," You'll recive a sign."
"What kind of sign?" Ryan asked.
"On the culprates forhead, in neon lights, it will say 'BEWARE, I'M A BAD GUY!'" "Really, huh? Thats pretty cool. Will anything else happen?" I asked.
"Isn't that enough?" Jason said sarcastically, "But for real, thats it."
"Okay." I said. Now if I were the one in charge it would have the bad guy dance like a chicken or something. I thought.
"What do these 'bad guys' look like?" Ryan asked. "Do they look like fire breathing monkeys with fins... or snakes with wings?"
"Man that would be sooo cool!" I added. "I've always wanted to see somethin' like that."
"No no you got it all wrong... They look like ordinary guys. And they aren't always ugly, sometimes they look like a really hot guy." Jason warned.
"You mean like you?" Ryan asked.
"Stop hitting on me!" Jason said annoyed.
"Yeah! It's my turn." I added.
"I meant the both of you." He told us. "There will be plenty of time for that later. And with a lot more guys to come."
"But it would be so much fun to flirt with you...you and your manly muscles." I said. "What muscles?" Ryan asked.
"HEY!!!" Jason whined "Dont make fun of these" he said, showing us his limp arms.
"Here, mabey this will make you feel better." I said, thinking of him with manly muscles.
" GOODIE!" He yelled with enthusiasm...instantly muscles appered.
Ryan and I just looked at each and coulded help but laugh so hard. We tried to keep it in but if we did we probably would have exploded.
"What?" Jason said surprised at our laughter. From that one word we were laughing so hard I thought my ribs were gonna break from the presure.
"What? Whats so funny?" Jason kept saying.
"Were sorry...we didn't mean to laugh." I said between breaths. Ryan just couldn't stop, I thought she would pee her pants.
"Ok if you have got that out of your system, can continue?" Jason asked.
"Sure, whats next?" I asked, after finally settleing down.
"Well, those clothes have got to go." He said.
"Whats wrong with our clothes?" Ryan asked. We were both wearing Worm-ups and t-shirts.
"Nothings wrong with them, but we have special 'adventure' gear." He snapped his fingers and in an instant we were both in leather pants and animal print shirts. I had lepord and Ryan had cheetta.
"This is so kicken!" We said.
"I'm glad you think so...theres was alot of thought put into these." Jason said.
"Really?" Ryan asked.
"No, we just thought you'd look hot in tight pants." He replied.
"Oh, well...do we?" She asked.
"If I said no I'd be lieing." He said.
"Well then....whats next?" We asked. He didn't answer.
THE GREAT OREO COOKIE PSYCHO-PERSONALITY TEST
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreo's:
1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.
Your Personality:
1. The whole thing This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.
2. One bite at a time. You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreo's this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's OK, not to worry, you're normal.
3. Slow and Methodical. You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit
4. Feverous Nibbles. Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental break downs and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.
5. Dunked. Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.
6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie. You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie. You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's OK, you don't care, you got yours.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside. You enjoy pain.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.
10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies. You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.
A bouncying baby!
What the wive says...
...go to the store; lay down the mulch; wash and wax the car;get the kids at school; rent some videos, and finish the rest of the dishes.
The husband hears...
...go...........lay down.....
......and.........get.........some.....rest........
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